Okay, let's be real – waiting six years for Tears of the Kingdom felt like watching a Zonai device slowly assemble itself without Ultrahand. But wowza, was it worth it! Now, replaying it? That's where the real, slightly unhinged fun begins. Forget doing things 'the right way'; my second playthrough became a glorious sandbox of self-imposed chaos and 'what if I just...?' moments. The Switch groaned a little, but hey, it's a technical marvel holding this madness together!
🛠️ Ultrahand: My New Best Friend (And Hyrule's Worst Nightmare)
Seriously, Ultrahand isn't just a power; it's a lifestyle. My first run? I kinda-sorta used it. My second run? I became a certified Zonai engineer with a PhD in 'Hold My Elixir'. Why walk when you can yeet yourself across a chasm in a rocket-powered shopping cart?
Forget horses; this monstrosity is my noble steed now. Combat drones? Built 'em. Automated Korok torture devices? Maybe... Point is, if it can be stuck together, I did stick it together. Exploration? Solved. Bokoblin camp? Now featuring a surprise trebuchet delivery. The limit? Pfft, what limit?
✈️ Who Needs a Glider When You've Got... Well, Anything Else?
Getting that paraglider early feels like a rite of passage, right? Well, in Round 2? I decided to channel my inner cave-dweller. That fancy fabric rectangle? Collecting dust in my inventory. Ascend became my elevator, strategically fused wooden planks became my janky parachutes, and shield-surfing off cliffs became my questionable descent strategy.
It was messy. It was inefficient. I faceplanted into more walls than I care to admit. But man, seeing Hyrule without constantly popping that glider open? Felt weirdly liberating, like rediscovering gravity's harsh love.
😈 Ganon? More Like 'Can-on' My Schedule!
Remember the gentle suggestion to not storm Hyrule Castle immediately? Yeah, my second-save Link took that as a dare. Fresh off the Great Sky Island, still smelling like cave mushroom and with three lousy hearts, I pointed my dubious rocket-cart towards the big spooky castle. The Depths? Terrifying. The trek? Pure nightmare fuel. Gloom Hands? Let's just say I screamed. A lot.
Me, arriving at Ganon's doorstep with a stick and a dream. The fight itself? Let's be charitable and call it a spectacularly quick learning experience about hubris. But the bragging rights of even getting there early? Priceless. (For skilled players only. Seriously. It's brutal.)
🤖 Mineru: The Early Bird Gets the Mech
Fifth Sage? Who waits for the plot? With a measly ten hearts, I stumbled upon that spooky thunderstorm island and the door demanding payment in heart containers. "Hmm," I thought, "I paid my dues last time." Slapped those hearts on the door, snagged Mineru's mask early, and suddenly I had a giant robot buddy while everyone else was still chatting with bird people.
Mineru showing up WAY before the story intended. It completely scrambled the Sage acquisition order and made the mid-game feel deliciously broken. Why walk when your personal AT-AT can stomp through enemy camps?
🚫 Fast Travel? Never Heard of Her
Hyrule is HUGE. Layers upon layers. My first instinct? Teleport everywhere after unlocking towers. Round Two Rule: Absolute fast-travel ban. If I needed to get from Death Mountain to Lurelin Village? Saddle up the horse (or more likely, the latest Ultrahand abomination) and enjoy the scenic route.
You discover so much you blasted past before – weird caves, hidden Koroks begging for a lift, and the sheer satisfaction of engineering a flying machine just capable enough to get you almost there before crashing spectacularly. Pure travel chaos, maximum immersion.
🍃 Koroks: From Ignored to... Slightly Less Ignored?
First playthrough: "Oh, little guy needs a friend? Maybe later..." (Spoiler: Never later). Second playthrough? Okay, FINE. I became a Korok Uber driver. Found myself actually seeking out those little leaf rascals, not just for the precious inventory slots (desperately needed for my weapon-hoarding tendencies), but because... well, maybe I felt a tiny bit guilty? Plus, using Ultrahand to build them absurdly complex delivery mechanisms is kinda fun. Don't judge my bridge-building skills.
⚔️ Picking Fights Like a Gluttons for Punishment
First run: See Gloom Hands? RUN. See King Gleeok? NOPE. See Lynel? Fast Travels away immediately. Second run? Bring. It. On. I actively hunted those terrifying beasties.
That knowledge from the first run? Turns dodges into art, turns parries into poetry (well, clumsy poetry). Taking down a Gleeok with nothing but well-timed headshots and dodges, or finally conquering the sheer panic induced by Gloom Hands? Chef's kiss. The loot is just the icing on the victory cake.
💔 The Ultimate Test: Four Hearts of (Pure) Courage
Here's the kicker, the real masochist's delight: The Four Heart Challenge. Turns out, aside from Mineru's door, you don't need more than four hearts. Stamina for climbing and the Master Sword? Sure. But hearts? Overrated!
Playing the entire game like this? Every enemy becomes a potential one-shot kill. Every fight is a high-wire act without a net. It transforms exploration into a tense stealth game and boss fights into epic dances of death. It's grueling, sometimes frustrating, but oh-so-satisfying when you pull it off. Makes you appreciate every dodge, every cooked meal, every fairie in a bottle.
So yeah, that's my messy, glorious second run. No DLC? No problem. The real magic is in breaking the game's own rules. It feels fresh, challenging, and hilariously unpredictable. My future Hyrule dream? Let me play as Zelda building contraptions with Ultrahand in some whacky DLC spin-off. Until then... back to my heartless run! Wish me luck, I'll need it. 😱